Aunt Cathy Pt. 29

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{Disclaimer: All characters in this piece are eighteen or over}

No sex folks. Sorry. It’s time.

My head hurt when I woke up, between the wine and the beer it’s no wonder, didn’t last long after the sleep was wiped away and I saw Cathy. She had her hands folded under her chin, pig-tails in her hair, make-up perfect. She also wasn’t at home.

“Good afternoon lover.”

“Har, har. What time is it?”

“Three P.M.”

“WHAT! Holy hell! Did I sleep for twelve hours? And my head still hurts? Where are you?”

“Overindulgence baby, plus a whole lot of worrying about what you think you need to worry about. I’m here.” Didn’t know if she was right or wrong about overdoing it, but I had a good feeling asking her exactly where ‘here’ was would prove futile so that slid.

“I’ll stick with the indulgence theory. I need a shower.”

Giggle. “Yes, we do.” The midnight rule came to mind.

“Too bad it’s way past the cut-off time huh.”

Cathy leaned back and started undoing each pig-tail. Every move lifted the respected left, then right breast tauntingly. Where ever she was didn’t leave a lot of maneuvering room. “Yeah, uh, about that. I’m kind of bad at making rules only to um, bend them, my sister and friends seem to do the same. Right?”

Didn’t fall for it. “You watched me sleep, I wouldn’t know, and could care less too. Do have a question though?”

She leaned over rolling nipples through a very tight, very worn, Ramones T-Shirt. Hungover or not, lower extremities started ballooning. “What’s the question?”

“How would you like it if I started making and breaking rules?”

She did not like that and braced her back, (by the way that’s an awesome pose with the right chest) “Meaning!?”

“Meaning, keep the flexible rules between us. I don’t want to play anymore unless it’s agreed, fair?”

“WOW! You dictated a rule. Hmmmm, what’s a big word to handle such a directive?. OH! Philantrapate!!”

“What?… That is not even a WORD!”

Groucho eyebrows. “No, but it’s big.” Giggle. “Just like that tent in the comforter too.” She licked that purple lipstick and looked to her side before lifting her top to flick a nipple. “Guess I shouldn’t talk.”

She really does have the best nipples. “Lady stick with the subject at hand.”

“Oh, so now I’m getting told what I can and can’t wrap my hands around?”

“I DID NOT…” My aunt Cathy, my future wife, was beside herself.

“I’m Kidding. Look, I can’t guarantee every little detail will be spoken, but I will try to never let you out of a secret idea. And I thought we covered this already?”

“I don’t know right now, I think someone filled my head with fiber. Hold on? what do you mean try?”

“Okay, I promise to never lead you into a situation Çanakkale Escort where you won’t groan, twitch and beg for more. That Good”

Cathy was pulling strings, good strings, her giggle strings


“No!” Groan. “You wanna know something Lady? You’re encourageable.”

“Seems I’m erectable too.”

Morning, afternoon…wood is wood. Unless of course it’s backed up by a teasing aunt, then it’s more concrete. Which didn’t help me realize, that though I had learned how to stew, unfortunately, the lesson of ‘MY TURN’ hadn’t solidified yet. Figured was time for me to do some teasing. Lay’d back and started stroking.

“Uh-huh. No real reason to get clean if you’re just going to get dirty right?” I actually won a few of these during our marriage, this wasn’t one of them. I heard the distinct sound of my car outside. Cathy lost it again.

“Now how do you drive your car with one hand around your cock, AND in your room?” Giggle. “I have to go, Heres a kiss, be seeing you!” The phone went dead.

I tried calling her back, IMMEDIATELY, No answer. She was gaming with me again. That left me, well you can guess that, but also pissed about where my car was going. Looking outside did nothing but ramp my P.O’d mood up to what the fuck. Mom, Bonnie, Mary, and misty were all piling in, flinging the window open to yell ‘HEY’ just got me a ‘ta-ta wave’.


I tried calling Cathy back one more time with no luck, forwent the shower, for now, and headed downstairs. Was no sign of last night’s activities, (except for a very, close to overpowering smell of scented candles and lube) I did find a note in the kitchen, but all it told me was breakfast was in the microwave. With no clue as to where everyone had headed off to, I ate and jumped in the shower.

At the time, sob and Popoffs were about’s passed me over. That was until the shower curtain flew back and I got yanked out by sob. “Dude we don’t have time for you to have a beauty soak. You gotta get ready.” A towel was chucked at me, but no time give to use it before Popoff had my legs, sob my neck and I was being hauled outside to my garage.


Inside the shop, I was incensed wrapping the terry cloth around my waist. “Damn Pop, you think the shower was too hot or is he red because he’s that pissed?” Popoff grinned.

“Oh, he’s pissed.” I didn’t find anything amusing about any of this and went off on them for a good five minutes which they ignored, being way too busy pulling garment bags from the back of misty’s jeep.

“What the hell are those?” Was then It clicked on me my two idiot friends might know where my car was heading off to. “Who the hell was driving Çanakkale Escort Bayan my car, and to where?” No verbal answer, just got my own bag shoved into my hands. “Man you guys are seriously pissing me off. What….”


Sob and Popoff were dawning suits giving me the same look when we ran mystery plays. Let me explain that. Coach had come up with a brilliant way for us to learn how to read plays. He broke lines up, then assigned each new line a set play, he had us run that against a line that had no clue. Until ‘That’ that line figured it out, we ran it. We got real good at foresight.

And that’s why mine kicked in, and I heard chapel bells, realized Cathy was in a plane, despite the wake-up headache I gulp-gulpped.

Outside a vehicle pulled up that was a new sound to me, one look backed up what was panicking me. A flower truck. The driver was hauling bunch after bunch.

Sobs phone beddled. “Yup, right here.” It was Cathy.

“Hey, lover. How you doing?” That was a nervous question if you’d ever heard one. It just took her voice and all my color came back.

“Fine. Hang on a second.” Sobs phone got searched for arrival times. “So I’m guessing your past check out and heading here?

There was a bit of silence. “Yup.”

“Also guessing you’re in the passenger front seat?”

“Yup again.”

“Open the glove box and move the puck.” The puck paired with the first hat-trick stick. You have superstitions, that puck meant luck for me, under it were two ring boxes. “You’re going to have to give the one to me, can’t stop you from peaking in the other though, would rather you didn’t.” Cathy can hold her own in a stone face competition, vocally she’s not so good, she was emoting.

“So you’re good with this sudden change of events.. my love.”

Both Sob and Popoff had been hovering close but moved off, they saw I needed this to be alone. “Nothing sudden wife. I have dumb ass, (shot them a smile) very best friends that are not going to let this go by without a memory for us, but other than that? I’m positive in the next few hours nobody on the face of this earth will be as happy as me..and I’m not even including the honeymoon.”

The next voice I heard was Bonnie’s. “For your sake, you better hope these are tears of happiness or you are going to get MILF’d into hell!” Cathy’s giggle solved that question. “Yeah… I guess you’re safe.” The phone went dead.

“Can people not say goodbye anymore?” Handing the phone back just got a weird look. “Never mind.” Opening my suit bag caused an uproar of biblical proportions from them, my tux was pink. “For fuck sake, really?” After the two of them calmed down it was my turn to mist up, pop handed me another bag. “How the hell did Escort Çanakkale you get this?” It was my grandpa’s wedding coat, tails and all.

“Your mom. She’s been working on it, and.. something you’ll see in a while.” The sewing machine she had me haul down. No time to ask what the other thing was, Popoff’s phone beddled. “Yup, right here.”

Was Mom.

“You like the suit?” I started looking for bears. I don’t care who you are, some timing clicks make you wonder.

“I love the suit, just wonder what grandpa would have thought of the, well, situation.”

“Check the inside pocket. That’s my wedding gift to you.” Inside was a pocket watch I hadn’t seen for ages. Grandpa timed things, bacon, oil changes, crops, sometimes I thought everything. Was amazing but it was still working.

“That’s one way to make sure I remember my anniversary.” That got a giggle that until then I’d never noticed was a carbon copy of her sisters.

“Other pocket now.” This one held an envelope. Inside was a photo of mom and Cathy in front of a small country school. The banner above them read, ‘Congratulations grads’. “Your grandpa caught us that night in, shall we say, a heated moment. Didn’t yell, never mentioned it, not once.” The ambient car noise quelled considerably. I had a feeling Cathy was about to hear something she’d never known.

“You don’t have to worry about if he would have approved or not. My dad had a rule he lived by, a good rule, a solid rule. A rule he took heat for from most of the family. You want to know what that was?” Mom used to say, ‘I can’t hear the rocks in your head shaking’, guess she heard them rattling yes this time.

“I’m not the judge or the jury. Every man, woman, and child will face that someday. I have enough answers of my own to attend to.” Mom didn’t know it, but in a very short time, those words would keep me in check so I could have a solid, next, life.

“Now, DON’T LOOK OUTSIDE!” My car pulled up, and my knees went a little weak.

Popoff and Sob both came up and clamped a hand on my shoulders. I figured, ‘here we go’, nope. Popoff took the watch from my hand running his thumb over it, “That is a solid watch, just like your woman.” Then slid it back into my vest pocket. Sob tightened my tie which I’d neglected


“People wait for years to think they found the right one. You? She walks in knowing EXACTLY where you both are heading. To tell the truth, me and the pop here are a little jealous.” he tried to overdo the groomsman knot help and got a slight shot in his chest. He got a verbal retort too.

“Yeah right sobby. Red hot red-head, best tit’s in the world mom, almost, cry me a river. And you?”

Popoff got fingered.

“That’s some misty morning hop, never mind my mom’s beside her self hormones.” If you want to know what Sob’s face looked like at that comment, check my profile pic.

“What? What the fuck does that mean?”

Would have loved to answer him, but I heard Cathy’s voice drift out of the kitchen across the yard.




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