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The sun had risen around 7:30 that morning as I lay in bed, watching Mr. Universe sleep. Yes, I was biased, but I really did believe he was the sexiest man alive… so perfectly put together. There must have been divine intervention in his making. And if it were really true, was a life of unspeakable pain and impounded innocence the price to pay for such unworldly attractiveness?Who was to blame for the ghosts of his past that still haunted him like restless phantoms? I don’t believe that God had a hand in this. There was nothing cruel or vindictive about God’s love. Evil just existed in the world. Evil had planted its seed inside the womb of an unknowing, vulnerable woman twenty-nine years ago. Evil had half contributed to the creation of a charming child that would grow up to become the most broken being ever.Yes, it was corruption at its worst that had fathered the flawless man sleeping next to me. The irony was that Jay was extremely flawed, except no one could see those flaws on the outside. They were hidden on the inside. Deeply submerged beneath his subconscious. If the human brain functioned through the engineering of mechanical wheels, then I could confidentally say that every gear in his mind was turning like it was supposed Escort Erenköy to… counter clockwise. My point is that Jay was nothing like the average person, and he wasn’t born this way either. If you can picture evolution for a moment, then picture the evolution of childhood innocence… lost.No one knew how fragmented Jay was—and of course they wouldn’t. He was amazing at concealing every crack that would show on the surface. He appeared as though he had it all; a beautiful girlfriend, a promising career—I don’t think I ever mentioned what he did for a living. He was an investment banker in New York. I lived there too. But neither of us had grown up in the Big Apple. I was born and raised in Labrador, Newfoundland, and Jay was raised in Chicago, Illinois. I had made the move when I got a job offer to work at a publishing house. Honestly, the only reason why I packed up and left “the true North strong and free” was because I needed to put an ocean of space between me and my ex-husband.I hadn’t met Jay at a nightclub or a bar. I’m sure if I had, he would have taken me home, banged my brains out, and left it at that. But that’s not how we met. Our worlds had collided in the most unexpected way, içerenköy escort and sometimes, only sometimes, can happiness manifest in the most unexpected circumstances.***** A year and a half ago- December 10, 2013 There was something peaceful about waking up to the city coming to life. The sun would rise, and with it would come morning traffic, angry civilians honking and cussing, pigeons purring by my window… I wasn’t used to living in such a busy environment, but it was better than silence. All that I was trying to repress would resurface during moments of still, calm, quietness, which was why I welcomed any form of distraction, even if that included noise pollution.I was living in a small, one bedroom flat on Broadway downtown. It wasn’t anything fancy or luxurious, but it was cozy. The walls were painted an ordinary white. My landlord had said that if I wanted to repaint, it would have to come out of my own pocket, including painting it back to white when I moved out, so I didn’t bother to personalize the space.It wasn’t like I could really afford to make my apartment emulate the Home a beautiful one. Reflect on that image and try to personify it. This crystal antique represents Tuzla escort bayan everything that makes you who you are, every piece of you crafted into one complete and priceless creation.Now, imagine that that vase breaks; glass exploding like fireworks. Slow it down and watch every shard, big or small, somersault and scatter all over the surface. You are literally in pieces. Every part of you is broken and taken apart. How can we fix this? Well, let’s reverse the effect and see what happens. Rewind in real time, fast or slow, and you’ll find that the vase is perfectly intact, as if it had never been broken.Unfortunately, we can’t reverse decisions and experiences or go back in time. And when things get broken, we can’t restore them completely to what they once were. All we can do is try our best to piece ourselves back together, find the places where each piece is meant to go, and glue it in place. It’s sort of like creating a mosaic. My mosaic was extremely flawed.I had successfully reversed my breaking point, but was unsuccessful at restoring my vase correctly. In a state of panic, all I could have done was gather whatever I could and try to fix anything that was salvageable, even if the pieces didn’t belong, at least they wouldn’t have been on the floor, at least I wouldn’t have had to admit that I was broken. All that shattered glass… and nothing had adhered where it was meant to. Jay seemed like the only person who understood that because he was able to relate. We were both imperfect but embraced our imperfections.
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