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NOTE: This is an adult story. If you are not a legal adult in your jurisdiction, please do not continue. If frank depictions of human sexuality offend you, please do not continue. Otherwise, please enjoy.
Chapter 6: Becoming One
It was a late winter day, gray and damp, when spring seems as if it will never come. Pam had taken a part time job in a local warehouse, pulling orders and packing boxes for shipment. She was dressed in her work outfit of jeans, a pink turtleneck and a heavy Smallville College sweatshirt that hid her full breasts. Early on at S.E.T. she’d learned that dressing warmly was important in the underheated warehouse where she spent most of her shift.
She met Mitsy in the local coffee shop after spending a morning among the aisles and boxes at S.E.T. Pam didn’t have much trouble finding her friend in the lunchtime crowd. Her red hair and abundant freckles helped her stand out, but not quite as much as candy-striped jester’s hat she’d brought back to school after the winter holidays.
“I still don’t believe you wear that hat,” Pam said, greeting her friend.
“I still can’t believe where you’re working,” said Mitsy. “How do you explain it to your parents?”
“Well,” said Pam, “I never really told them about what S.E.T. sells. I just said it’s a mail order place, and that we spend our days pulling stuff off the shelves and packing it in boxes so it can be sent to the customers. My Dad was kind of concerned, but I told him that they didn’t let us pull the really heavy stuff off the shelves and that mostly it was just making sure what went in the boxes matched what was on the order sheets and that the right address got on the right box.”
“But didn’t he ask what kind of stuff you’re packing up?” Mitsy asked.
“Yeah, but I just said it was women’s stuff. I think he may think its cosmetics and stuff.”
“Well, it may put roses in your cheeks, but it sure isn’t cosmetics,” replied Mitsy.
“That’s for sure,” Pam giggled.
A petite, dark-haired girl joined them. “Hi Pam, Hi Mitsy,” she said.
“Hi Amy, how’s it going?” asked Pam.
“Um, ok, I guess,” Amy replied. She was blushing. “Um, I was wondering, can you, uh, can you…”
“You want to use her employee discount to get you something, don’t you?” Mitsy said.
“Well, um, yeah,” Amy whispered. She was beet red.
“Don’t be embarrassed,” said Pam. “I mean, it’s not like you have to hide something like this from us. After all…”
Amy looked around the room. They were seated in a back corner, and the other customers were mostly up in the front of the store, by the windows and the counter. She reached into her purse, pulled out a well-thumbed catalogue and turned to a page she had dog-eared earlier that day.
“This,” she said, pointing at a picture.
Mitsy took the catalog from her and read the description.
“Magic Swallowtail. Nestle the body of this slender fellow between your lips and experience its delicious tingle. The head snuggles against your clitoris while the wings caress your labia. The tails are flexible and can be positioned in your vagina or will reach to your anus for backdoor stimulation. Elastic straps wrap around your thighs and hips to hold it snugly in place. Noise level 2, Vibration level 5. A customer favorite.”
“That sounds nice,” said Pam. “I know we sell a lot of them.”
Amy blushed again. “It looks like fun. But, I want something else, too.”
“Show us,” said Pam.
Amy retrieved the catalogue from Mitsy and turned to another page. She glanced around the room again, and then showed the page to her friends.
“You’re kidding,” said Mitsy.
“No, I’m not,” said Amy firmly. “I mean, I know what real ones feel and taste like and everything, but I want to know what it will feel like in me. That one looks about the same size as Larry and Alan are. And we’re doing lots of things, and it’s really great, but I’m not sure we’re going to have intercourse anytime soon and I’ve just got to know. So one of these should let me know.”
Pam read the description in a soft voice. “Life-like silicon dildo. A Smallville Erotic Toys special and exclusive product. We created the mold for this toy with the help of a very special friend of our founder. According to her: ‘This dildo is the perfect size for simulating a real, average man. This is my personal favorite, especially for those times when I’m making love with myself. Not too large or small, and has those delicious veins and bumps just like the man we molded it from.’ This silicon toy is 6 1/2” long and
5″ in circumference or about 2″ in diameter. Realistic testicles. Hollow base, for adding our egg vibrator for added stimulation. Fits nicely in most harnesses as well.”
“But Amy,” said Mitsy, “Do you really want your first to be plastic?”
“No, not really,” said Amy. “But I read that catalogue, and we do what we do, and then I go home and think about it all, and I touch myself and put my fingers inside and, well, I just want to know.”
Pam looked at her friends thoughtfully. She had to admit to herself that she was having feelings like Amy was. Maybe…
Later kızılay escort that day Pam and Alan were eating dinner in the college cafeteria. Since the group had begun their “explorations” Pam and Alan had grown particularly close. They were talking about nothing in particular. Pam told Alan about some of the orders she had filled that day. When she paused for another bite of meatloaf, Alan brought up something he had been thinking about all day.
“Well, um, Pam, um, I was wondering if…”
“You want to use my discount, don’t you,” she said.
Alan reached into his backpack and pulled out a catalogue.
“Geez,” complained Pam. “I gave those catalogues to you all mostly as a joke. And we’re in the cafeteria. What if someone sees?”
“Well, um, well, we’re back here in the corner, so I don’t think anyone will see. And it’s hard enough to do this without you whining about it. Maybe I just better put this away and talk to you later.”
“What do you want?” Pam asked, a little tiredly.
“Well, one of these – the third thing on the page.”
Pam looked at the page Alan showed her. It showed several toys designed for men. She read the description to herself.
“Lovely Linda. A velvet soft male masturbator. With vaginal and anal openings – just like real life. Made from our special skin-like material – the finest model we make. Open at each end for easy cleaning.”
“Why do you want this?” Pam asked.
Alan blushed. Pam noticed he was even redder than Amy had been that morning.
“What do you think I want it for?”
“I know that, but, isn’t what we do enough? I mean, you know every inch of me, and of Mitsy and Amy and Jenny, too. If you don’t know what a vagina feels like by now…” She was a little hurt. Why would he need this toy after all they did together?
“But not that way. We haven’t had intercourse. I wouldn’t push that on you, or any of us. And this way I can get kind of an idea. I know it’s not perfect, but it’s probably pretty close.”
“We all need to talk,” said Pam.
“What do you mean?” asked Alan.
“Well, you’re not the only ones having those feelings. I’ve been thinking a lot about it too. And, well, so has someone else. So, I think we all have to talk.”
A few nights later they were all gathered in Pam’s living room – Mitsy, Amy and Alan were there, as were Larry and Jenny. As had become their practice over the last several months, they had begun the evening by pairing up and shaving each other’s crotches. After their crotches were gleaming and pink, each pair kissed, caressed and stroked until each had achieved orgasm. After a quick clean up, Pam began the discussion.
“Ok, this is hard,” she said, a slight blush rising on her cheeks. She looked around the room at her friends. Jenny and Larry sat next to each other, her pink nipples standing hard and erect atop her nearly perfect breasts, her hand absent-mindedly stroking Larry’s penis and testicles. Tiny Amy sat cross-legged to Larry’s right. Mitsy slouched at one end of the couch, her feet in Alan’s lap. He rubbed them gently.
Pam spoke. “We’ve been doing a lot with each other over these last few months. I don’t think there’s an inch of each other’s bodies each of us hasn’t touched, licked or kissed. We know that if you keep stimulating Jenny after her first orgasm she’ll have another one pretty quickly. We know that if you fondle Larry’s testicles while you’re sucking him he gets even harder and he comes a little more, shall we say, powerfully. I really – and I mean really – like it when I have a penis between my breasts. We even found out that it’s just as much fun to be with another woman – or man.”
Larry and Alan exchanged glances at this last comment. Only a few weeks ago Mitsy had insisted, since, she said, one pair of girls was always with each other when they paired up, that they pair up. She and Jenny had coached them as Larry had first sucked Alan off, and then Alan did Larry. It hadn’t been as terrible as they thought it might be, although neither was about to trade it for being with one of the girls.
“But we haven’t gone all the way yet,” Pam continued. “And I know we’re all thinking about it. Amy and Larry both told me this week – they even wanted me to buy toys for them so they could get an idea of what it’s like.”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I don’t want my first time to be with something made out of a petrochemical or with some kind of fruit or vegetable.”
“Pam!” Jenny gasped. “What do you mean a vegetable? I mean, I know you’re working in that place, and have seen more stuff and toys and things than any of us ever imagined existed, but a vegetable?”
“Look,” Pam replied. “I got a book one day at work. It had stories about what people do when they masturbate. Some women were using carrots or cucumbers, and some men were using melons and stuff.”
“Whatever. You know we keep finding stuff out. So we found out, and we probably could have figured it out if we thought about it a little, that people use stuff from nature.” Pam looked around maltepe escort the room. Everybody was squirming a little bit. Jenny’s hand was no longer in Larry’s lap and Mitsy had sat up.
“Anyway, back to the topic. We’ve done most of what you can do without any penetration beyond a finger or two or three.”
Or four or five, thought Jenny to herself. When she was really excited, especially those times when she’d been bringing herself up the edge and then backing off over and over again, she could get all four fingers of her hand up inside herself. It really stretched her out, but it felt so great, especially when she’d hold all the fingers deep inside and then tap her clit with her thumb. It was really nice that way.
“Anyway,” Pam said pointedly, looking at Jenny. Jenny realized she had been stroking herself while she was thinking and that everybody now was watching her, especially Alan and Larry, whose penises were growing erect once again.
“Sorry,” she said. “I just got caught up in a thought…”
“My kind of thought,” smirked Mitsy.
“Cut it out,” said Pam, giving Mitsy a little scowl. One of the group’s rules was no put downs. When the group had first gotten together to explore their sexuality, they had all been relatively inexperienced and pretty shy and embarrassed when it came to sex. They had decided right from the beginning to be positive with each other, and it had helped a lot.
Pam took a deep breath. “I think it’s time we thought about having intercourse.”
“Are you sure?” asked Mitsy. “That’s a really big step.”
“I’m not sure,” said Pam. “But I know how I feel about all of you, and I know what I’m feeling, at least sexually. It’s the emotional part I have to figure out.”
“How so?” asked Alan.
“Well,” Pam replied, “it’s like this. I know I care a lot about all of you. I’d even call it love. I love all of you, and it’s a special kind of love I haven’t had with anyone else before. But here’s the thing. I don’t know if it’s the kind of love you need to have to make love with someone. And if we’re going to have intercourse, I want it to be making love with Larry and Alan, and I want to figure out how to make love with Mitsy and Jenny and Amy, too.”
“Isn’t that what we’ve been doing?” asked Amy. “This is more than just sex to me. I think I’ve learned how some people can separate love and sex, but I’m very convinced that what we’ve been doing is making love with each other.”
“Well, yeah. That’s pretty much how I feel, too,” said Pam. “But is it enough? In some ways it’s kind of scary that we’re even talking about having intercourse. We were all raised that we’re supposed to save that just for marriage. Of course, most of what we’ve been doing we’re supposed to save for marriage. And I know I believe that you can share yourself, sexually, without marriage, I’m not sure that it’s right to go beyond the point where we are.”
“But lots of people do,” said Jenny. “I know I’m not really sure, either, but I know others do. I know that’s not a good reason – it sounds like a little kid. But at the same time, I think there are a lot of people like us who actually do think about it, and do decide to have intercourse outside marriage, and they figure it out morally and are comfortable with that.”
“Well, historically, polygamy isn’t unheard of. And there was a time when the promise of marriage was the important thing, not the ceremony itself,” said Alan.
“Yeah, but I don’t think either you or Larry are ready to propose,” said Mitsy. “And I know I’m not, and I bet the other women here aren’t either.”
“Well,” Amy said quietly, “I know I’m not ready to get married. But I did go talk with Reverend Barnhardt. She’s kind of helping me figure all this out.”
“But she’s a Unitarian,” said Pam. “Aren’t they pretty liberal about everything?”
“Kind of,” replied Amy. “But I knew Reverend Thornburg at the Theological Center would just rant and rave about sex being sacred, and for procreation, and only in a marriage blessed by the church, and why was I even thinking about it.”
“How do you know that?” asked Larry.
“Well, last year my roommate, Sally, fell in love. And she went to him because she was really in love and was thinking about making love with her boyfriend. When she came back she was in tears. She said he just about called her a whore and he did warn her about being a jezebel and about how if she even had such thoughts a moment before being married that she would burn in hell. So, when I wanted to talk to someone about it, I figured I’d try a woman minister, and one from not so traditional a faith, and maybe one who might take a more positive approach. Anyway, we’ve talked a lot.”
“Have you told her about us?” asked Mitsy.
“Sort of, but not really. What I’ve said is that there’s this group of us, and that we go out together, and that every once in a while that Larry or Alan will make out with one of us. And I’ve said we talk about things a lot, especially since we’re not so sure about how this kind of sharing Larry and Alan among the four of us isn’t mamak escort really typical.”
“What did she think of that?” asked Pam.
“Hmm. Uh, she said it was a little unusual, but not totally. And we’ve talked about love a lot, and how it can develop among the members of a community.”
“But what about intercourse itself? Is she pro or con?” asked Mitsy.
“She won’t say in so many words,” Amy answered. “It’s like this, she says. Each of us has to make these decisions for ourselves. Our families and our faiths and our communities kind of guide us, but it’s our individual decision. There’s a lot to be said for the more conservative point of view. I mean, you make a commitment, a spiritual and legal one. You pledge your love in front of your family and friends and all. If you have babies you’ve got a mom and dad and society thinks pretty much that it’s a good thing. You hope, and ideally you know, that you’re doing something that unites the two of you.”
“But people get divorced all the time,” said Larry.
“We talked about that, too. Sarah, that’s her first name, said that a lot of people get married just because they believe they have to have sex and get away from their moms and dads and for a whole lot of other reasons that don’t have anything to do with making a permanent commitment to join your soul with someone else’s. And if you get married without that intention, that it’s a lot harder to make it work. You can do it, she said, and lots do, but lots don’t make it.
“Anyway,” Amy continued, “let me get down to intercourse. Sarah basically said each of us has to make our own minds up. She says she thinks its more important that when you do decide to make love, and it’s important to make love and not just have sex, that you are making a commitment to unite yourself with that other person. But, she said, that isn’t the same as the marriage commitment. Making love makes the marriage commitment more sacred, and helps you unite your souls. But outside marriage, she said, making love can also be a good thing.”
“Well, physically, yes,” said Jenny. “But what about spiritually. I’ve heard plenty about how it’s just giving in to your animal side.”
“Do you think that’s what we’ve been doing?” asked Larry.
“Not really,” Jenny replied, “but I’m not sure if it’s all that pure. I mean, you all know I struggle with lust. Sex just feels so good. There are times when I’m walking around campus and I see a guy and I just want to rip off my clothes and his and touch him and feel him and have sex right then and there.”
“But you don’t do it,” said Pam.
“No, of course not. But I want to. And that’s what I’m worried about. I know I want to know what it’s like to have intercourse – to have a man inside me. And I know I’m going to like it – a lot. But I’m still trying to make sure that when I do whatever – when we’re together or I’m by myself, that I am making love, and not just satisfying my lust. And I’m not sure I know how to tell the difference.” Jenny looked around at her friends. “And you all sitting her naked doesn’t help. I get these ideas.”
“Look,” said Amy. “That’s what Sarah and I have been talking about. How you know. And I think I’ve kind of got it figured out.”
“So tell us,” said Alan.
“Ok, here it is,” Amy replied. She stood up and started walking around the room. “We can all agree, I think, that love is the most important part of it. There has to be a commitment to the other person. Well, we’ve made that commitment. If we hadn’t I know I wouldn’t be standing here, naked and shaved and having just had Mitsy’ s hands and mouth all over me, and me all over her, if I didn’t love her and all of you. Now, a lot of what we’ve done, and how we’ve learned and grown, has been because of physical exploration, and because we’ve let ourselves enjoy the physical pleasure of what we’ve been doing. But we’ve been growing spiritually as well. I never used to think about God, or life, or what love is, at least not much, before we got together and started exploring. I know I never spoke with any of you, or anyone else, about ideas like this. And we’re all doing it and I think we’re all doing it a lot more than any of us has before.
“And we keep making that commitment. I know you’re my friends outside of what we do in this room. That I can turn to any of you whenever I need help. And that we care and comfort and really do love each other.” Amy paused. She was flushed, and a sheen of perspiration covered her small body.
“All right, now here’s the big part. Short of dying for someone else, I think intercourse is probably the biggest commitment you can make to another person. It’s a linking of your bodies. It’s a sharing of your most intimate self – physically and emotionally. In the right circumstances, it probably helps you unite your souls.”
“Up to now we’ve been learning. We started out watching and analyzing and reacting and figuring out all the pleasures and what feels best and all of that. But the love part has been sneaking up on us too, and I think recently we’ve more been making love and doing less evaluation and analyzing. There’s a lot more we’ll probably explore – I mean we’re pretty “vanilla,” to use a term that book used. And I think what’s driving us, as much as physical curiosity, is a desire to take our love to a higher level. And having intercourse, at least for this group and where we are and considering how much we love each other, is the next step in expressing that love.”
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